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If you do, we have something that will clean it up!

Clean My Monitor
http://www.kn34.com/screenclean.swf (link updated)

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 24th, 2008 at 6:10 pm and is filed under Comedy.

Muchas gracias, American Idol!  My busy schedule and I thank you for trimming the excess down to a mere one hour show last night. 

I am also happy to report that most of the featured hopefuls headed to Hollywood were muy bueno, San Diego!  My snarky heartbeat was all aflutter with promise - and I have to say that Ryan and the judges were looking faboo in San D - Ryan was sporting a little of that truckstop-ready face fuzz we all adore, and Paula’s hair was borderline Winehouse (of course, show me a Winehouse that ISN’T borderline)…  Simon seemed to be joshing more than usual, and I must admit - his smile has a sensual power over me, making me impervious to his out of date semi-flattop and nature sweater.  As for my love dawg, Randy - all I can say is Oooh baby - chocolate!  Chocolate!

Sybil (my moody DVR) is back to her naughty tricks, and last night’s episode was deleted before I could complete my review, so forgive me if I I get some of my facts wrong - Idol journalist, I ain’t.

On with my virtual thought bubbles!

The Chick That Opened The Show - Tetiana something?  As Simon said OB-noxious!  She was annoying the Sanjaya outta me before she even opened her mouth.  There is an oh-so-fine fine line between confidence and arrogance, and the brief glimpse into her personality tells me that little missy crossed that line long ego - err, ago.  I expect lots of Hollywood drama with this one… can you imagine being in her group?  Eeks.

AZ Ponytail Papa With Kid Named After Bottled Water Beverage - His voice was ah-ite for me, but his performance lacked passion and energy for a guy with such an emotional backstory.  Given the vague description of his wife’s passing, did anyone else get the feeling that he might have a dark side that could rear its head?  I hope for his adorable child’s sake that he does well enough to buy little water boy a haircut… it just isn’t right that he is sporting the same hairstyle as my niece.

White Soul Singer Aussie Bloke - Crikey!!!  That’s what I’m talking about!  His audition was ace, mate.  Stuffed, I’ll be if he doesn’t come good and make the Top 5.  Ridgy-didge, he was.  And did you see how bugger-ific he be?  What woman in her right mind wouldn’t be inclined to butter him up and bog in?  God bless the land down under…

*Random Thought Alert* Did anyone else notice in the video medley of bad singers, how they all sounded like dolphins doing the dirty?  No wonder they put Sea World in San Diego…

Proxy Mariah Chick - This girl must live in Disneyland, because she was definitely living in some sort of magical place detached from the real world.  Twinkle teeth must hold vocal shower recitals, because she sounded like cartoon Mariah underwater.  Though she did have a tone in there, dawg.  I loved it when she realized that her rejection might be broadcast - she should tour the country, sharing her insight at every Idol audition ever after.

The Mariachi and the Mime - This audition seemed like it was missing something to me… a troll riding a unicorn, maybe?  That being said, I think mimed vocal auditions are highly underrated.

Health Care Duo with the Ginormous Goggles - Oh healthcare angels, please watch over me should I ever be admitted to medical institution and find these two as part of my team of care providers.  This might make me sound persnickety, but the respective crying meltdown and blink-less gaze don’t scream “sound judgment” to me.

Simon Sisters - Totally cliché gimmick (paper friggin’ airplanes?), and Simon didn’t seem annoyed at all - what gives?  I did enjoy the singing sister’s voice - her tone could work out with most styles - R&B, country, pop.  Maybe if she leaves her Oprah/Simon/Oba-Ma obsessing sister at home, I can forgive the gimmick and enjoy her talent.

Ten City Audition Guy - I would have sent him packing just for saying “Hells, yeah”.  Someone needs to find the chutzpah to encourage he and his delusional mother to find a new shtick.

Fingernail Guy Part Deux - Although poor Alberto was scared to rebuild his soul, he bravely placed flowers between his toes and twirled his dazzling Barbie on a stick - and mustered the courage to face the Idol judges with a performance of his original song, “Live”.  Though he looked the part of a Rockstar! - with his fabulous, femme fans and literal heart on sleeve, the judges unfortunately didn’t see the charm.  I guess there is only room for one fingernails-to-fame story on Idol this year.  Note to parents:  This is what too much coddling and awarding brownie points for failure will do to your kids.  Oh, and lack of a grooming lesson.

LEAVE ME ALONE Guy - I think this dude and the tour guide from Philly (Let my peoplllllllle gooooo!) should hook up and do an album and tour.  Comedy gold!

Vocal Paralysis Guy - Pretty good voice, but I think he is still too young.  With patience and practice, he could be exceptional - but he will probably make the top 24 and be sent home before you can say Kevin Covais, because he just isn’t ready.  Come on, Paula called him ‘mature’ and then in the next breath wanted to SQUISH him… Would you “squish” Justin Timberlake?  Sometimes you need to age that wine, know what I mean?

The Visa-less Irish Chick Than Can Blow - While I think her hubby needs to slowly put down the tattoo gun and step away before he gets arrested for tagging, I found her to be very likeable, and thought she gave a solid audition.  A Whitney song?  Probably a little on the ambitious side for her - but if she will sing her way into the top 24 and come back with a kickin’ version of “Whiskey in the Jar”, I might be willing to overlook that…

Off to get ready for South Carolina – more country?  Me hopes not!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 at 8:09 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.

It’s been nearly 125 years since London was terrorized in a way that surprised and horrified so many.  His name was given to him from a letter sent to the Central News Agency claiming to be the murderer.  Now with the new game Mystery in London, its up to you to do what Scotland Yard could not:  Find out who was Jack the Ripper.

A lot of hidden-object games have been a little mamby-pamby, but if there was ever a sub-genre that fits with hidden object, it is a murder investigation.  Yes, murder is an intense word, but that’s what I think draws us in and will keep us playing.  Mystery in London is a wonderful game.

Make sure you make some time this week to download and play the game.

Mystery in London
http://www.jenkatgames.com/download/Mystery-in-London/

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 at 10:45 am and is filed under Games.

If you have been reading this blog lately, you have probably come to the realization that we are pretty addicted to American Idol around here.  Our devotion to the show is deeply rooted in our (okay my) crush on Simon Cowell, who’s direct and accurate judgements make even the most annoying auditions watchable.

In honor of it being Tuesday (known as Idol Tuesday at the Jovi casa), we are going to flash back to one of Simon’s more sentimental moments.  Didn’t know he had any?  Well, me neither - which makes this all the more heartwarming.

This clip is from another talent competition Simon judges in the UK called Britain’s Got Talent.  Watch as Simon the Terrible’s heart of stone melts like squeezable butter as he is charmed by six year old Connie Talbot singing “Over The Rainbow”.  Guaranteed, your heart will melt, too. 

 

Happy American Idol Day!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008 at 5:52 pm and is filed under Videos, Television, American Idol.

Coming later this week is a brand new online game from your friends at Jenkat Games called Love Letters. The game will feature two difficulty levels: Normal and Expert. Love Letters is a different type of word game that you probably have played in the past. I don’t know how to describe it, but you’ll figure it out immediately and hopefully you’ll enjoy it.

The game also features a very fun bonus round where you have to figure out which letter does not belong. The faster you are, the bigger bonus score you’ll get. Oh, and I almost forgot that you’ll be able to earn power-ups during the bonus round of Love Letters.

The Love letters game launches soon only at JenkatGames.com

This entry was posted on Monday, January 21st, 2008 at 10:28 pm and is filed under Jenkat, Games.

Are you a slave to fashion?  Anyone that knows me can tell you I’m not.  I’m a meat and mashed potatoes kind of guy.  So when the new game Jojo’s Fashion Show came to Jenkat Games I was a little skeptical.  However, after giving the game a chance I found it to be quite fun.  Maybe I’ve got a little bit of East Coast in this Midwest boy.

If you’ve ever wanted to run your own fashion, then Jojo’s Fashion Show is definitely a game for you.  In fact, if you know a Hannah Montana fan, then this game will probably be right up their alley.  I know my neice would love it.

When you get some time, or your granddaughter is over for a visit, give Jojo’s Fashion Show a try.

Jojo’s Fashion Show Game Download
http://www.jenkatgames.com/download/Jojos-Fashion-Show/

This entry was posted on Monday, January 21st, 2008 at 1:13 pm and is filed under Games.

Each velvety cheek day I wonder if there is a better song than Spinal Tap’s Big Bottom.  Yeah, people yell out for Stairway to Heaven, Freebird and sometimes Ice Ice Baby, but in the end, it’s all about those velvety cheeks!

This entry was posted on Monday, January 21st, 2008 at 1:02 pm and is filed under Comedy.

Turbo Subs is the sequel to Turbo Pizza, not a game inspired by the Hunt for Red October.

What could be better than a time management-type of game?  A time management game with hidden object mini-games and Turbo Subs delivers both very well.  The main characters from Turbo Pizza (Robert & Rebecca) are back and are now serving up tasty submarine sandwich.  Nothing better than a good sub, in fact you can ask our tech lead Eric about his love of Subway restaurants.  Mmmm… mmmm…. Toasty.  Wait, that’s the wrong chain!

Make some time this weekend to download and play Turbo Subs - It’s dee-lish!

Turbo Subs Game Download
http://www.jenkatgames.com/download/Turbo-Subs/

This entry was posted on Friday, January 18th, 2008 at 12:31 pm and is filed under Games.

Maybe I am just tired and cranky, but last night’s American Idol auditions from Dallas just didn’t whet my Idol whistle like Philly did. The Elvis of Idoldom, Kelly Clarkson has done gone and left the building. Very few of the featured auditioners did enough last night to even moderately impress me, so be prepared for lack of emotion in this little recap o’ mine. (Come on, Friday.)Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Random Ponderance Alert: Did baby boy Idol’s momma ever get to audition? Powers that be, we need answers.

Pitchy Former Junkie Chick - Like other Idol contestants named Jessica (Sierra) that have come before her, Jessica Brown is a (former) junkie. Having personally known people addicted to meth, I am thinking fame (even in small doses) might not be the best remedy for this recovering young mother of two. Her voice was worthy of a trip to Hollywood, but can I vote for her in good conscience, knowing that a few weeks in Hollywood might pull Jesus away from that wheel? Not so sure I could.

The Guy Simon Didn’t Come Down On, Even Though Simon Goes Down On Just About Everybody - Just where exactly does one go to sign up as an official “roller coaster enthusiast”? I am guessing maybe cheerleader camp, if you this guy’s dance moves are any indication of where he sharpens his talents. Two thumbs up! Pity the judges didn’t agree… though I just may award this guy with double entendre of the year.

Singing Waitress Chick - Why bother showing this audition? Because her supportive friend with lack of boobah coverage was there to console. Two thumbs up from Mr. Jovi, but it is apparent that someone wanted to get on TV.

Carrie Clone Chick - She was quite fond of herself, wasn’t she? Kudos to Simon for calling her out. Enough with the Miss Underwood clones - when are we gonna see some Bo Bice doppelgangers?

Brother Ponytail and Sister Sunshine - Egads. I get the feeling those two were raised in an underground bunker, and quite possibly share linking key and heart necklaces. Creeped. Me. Out. In fact, the entire show was crammed with creepy people - what the hell is going on in Dallas, yo?

Never Been Kissed Guy - When this fella received a golden ticket to Hollywood, my stomach immediately sank - and not just because of the disturbing pact symbolized by junior high promise jewelry. His voice was totally unoriginal, he oversang the song, and seemed to have a complete lack range. For a guy past his teen years, this homeboy manboy is way too content with not kissing a girl. Either papa has worked some serious mind control that could prove to be disastrous once manboy tries what he has been missing, or manboy secrety hopes to get to Hollywood to hang with Ryan. Yeah, you know what I’m sayin’.

Tattoo Head Chick - Backing singer? *Insert foghorn sound effect here* I guess she had an interesting look, but her voice by no means gave me chills. And her performance was a little subdued for such an edgy makeover. I did like her confidence, though.

Fingernail Guy - can’t… type… *gulp* vomitting….. *Wiping sweat from forehead* At least he will have a bunch of stuff to sell on eBay if he doesn’t go very far. *HURL*

Car Accident Farmer Momma Chick - Sweet gal, and I admire her attitude through her struggles… but jeez - is she on some sort of adrenaline inducing, pain reversal meds? Holy crap, she was excitable. And nothing against her, but her voice made my ears bleed. I hear that can kill a person.

Britney Impersonator Chick - Very pretty girl, and her vocal versatility could be a huge plus. I am interested in seeing her take on different styles of music, just to see if she can do it without mimicking the original artist. Even if she can’t, I’ll be amused. Hell, I watch Frank TV.

Sweaty Voice Preserving Guy - Why did mommy let this guy out of the basement? The arm cross dance moves were SUPER cool, but I was a little concerned with all the sweating, dry mouth (”Nail Me On A Prayer”?), blank stare, staggered walk - was this guy coming down from some drug induced euphoria? Good God, homeboy needed the ER, I think.

Blondie Chick Married To Delusional Derek Zoolander - Ugh, this show so could have been 75 minutes long…

Politician Guy That I Knew Was Gonna Sound Like Hillary In A Blender - But, to my surprise, he could actually sing! Not a stand out voice, but I found him kind of innocent and charming. Hopefully the talent runs deeper than what we saw in the audition. At least his gimmick was different, and I approve this message.

Squinty Eyebrow Guy - The look was a little too 80’s Kajagoogoo for me. And ANOTHER frikkin’ country singer? At least we got to see Ryan totally ruin the fakeout on the parents. Dork.

Obligatory Guy Who Has Never Been On A Plane - I think there is a really cute young kid under the dingy John Deere hat and farmer garments. He will probably get lost in the mix though - way too many country voices going to Hollywood this year.

Guy-liner Rock Guy - If you wanna look hardcore, might I recommend skipping the Crest Whitestrips and self-tanner? Menacing eyes and air microphones do not a rocker make. By this point of the show, I was ready to switch over to the Disney Channel in search of a REAL rocker, like Zac Efron.

Asian Bird Pimp Guy - Was it just me, or did this guy sound like Enrique Iglesias? He could have ROCKED Latin week. And his original song felt like the sequel to Enrique’s “Hero” - but instead of the Hero, Simon is the Glory. My fearless prediction for Idol Gives Back week is that the theme song will be Featherboy’s “Red Rutters Forever” (Translation: “We’re Brother’s Forever!”).

Overall, very weird show - where about 50% of the “singers” appeared to be on heavy medication, at the least. Left me feeling a little sedated, myself. Onward to San Diego, where hopefully we will get a glimpse of vocal excellence.

Red Rutters 4-Ever,

~ Jovi  

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 17th, 2008 at 9:25 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.

It’s been eight years since the legendary AC/DC released an album and toured to support it.  Over those last eight years, I’ve become an increasing fan of AC/DC.  During the 80’s, when I was growing up, for some reason I missed the boat on AC/DC.  Perhaps it was because I found my groove a little after AC/DC put out some of their best albums.  I became more of a Pyromania/1984-type of rocker.  Well, thank God I’ve found AC/DC 20 years later.

So what’s up with the guys from down under?  Well, the rumors have been flyin’ and no one knows for sure.  Everyone is anticipating a new album and tour from the guys this year.  Here’s the latest…

 - Rumor is that AC/DC will be doing a private club show in Switzerland on January 25th - I guess we’ll know pretty quick if that’s the case.

 - Rumor is that there will be a private club show in New Jersey coming up in March.

 - Rumor is that the band will begin a full scale tour in the 2nd half of 2008 to support the new album.

 - Rumor is that the name of the bands new album is Strap It On.

 - Rumor is that Robert John ”Mutt” Lange, who produced Highway to Hell, Back in Black and For Those About to Rock We Salute You, is producing the new album.

The rumor that seems the most far-fetched to me is that Mutt Lange is producing the record.  Mutt hasn’t done a true rock record in nearly 25 years (the last was probably Def Leppard’s Pyromania).  Since then he’s been producing and writing music with more pop artists like The Cars, Def Leppard, Bryan Adams and his wife, Shania Twain.

However, the rumor of a private club show in Switzerland is interesting, because Mutt lives and has a studio in Switzerland, so perhaps AC/DC is recording with him.  Hmmm…

I’ve never seen AC/DC or U2 live, and those are two tours that I would love to see.  In the meantime, enjoy this gem…

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 17th, 2008 at 8:42 pm and is filed under Music.