American Idol Report Card - Top 24 Results Show
As Mr. Jovi and I watched last week’s American Idol results show, my better half submitted for my consideration what just might be the most relevant Idol question EVER:
Why is it that the eliminated Idols are always given a second opportunity to sing their song of shame after being eliminated?
He suggested that the top 2 vote-getters should be the ones that are brought back out to sing. I am not convinced that this would be the right formula, but he has a point. This is how they do on Idol wannabe shows like Rock Star (INXS and Supernova) on CBS, and to date that hasn’t worked out so well for those shows from a ratings standpoint. I don’t know what the magic answer is, but I can tell you that if I could hear a decent (or at least interesting) performance at the end of the results show, it would make that 60 minute walk to the Idol chopping block much more bearable.
Some other questions and musings from the eliminations (inquiring minds want to know!):
- Just how high would Paula Abdul’s ‘comeback’ actually rank if she had to sing live and “shake what Mama Abdul gave her” in front of the self-appointed critics in the American Idol audience? Maybe Randy Jackson should consider Robbie Carrico’s super ex-girlfriend Britney for his next career revival project.
- What was Simon chewing at the beginning of the show? The unabashedly cantankerous Mr. Cowell was back and in the hizzouse fo’ shizz, baby! Maybe he is back on his preferred Idol diet of razor blades and the much-pimped Idol beverage of choice - Coca Cola! His snark definitely appears to have returned to its optimum fighting weight.
- Does Simon really drink Coca Cola, or is it actually the tears of Ramiele Malubay?
- Did the 60’s medley make anyone else long for some of that Brady Bunch edge? The outfits were kinda hot for the most part - except for maybe Alaina’s. She resembled Brady sibling Jan… and we all know that Jan was never the hot one.
- Where can I get myself a Simon’s-head-on-a-stick mask?
- Does anyone else think that Amanda Overmyer is considering divorcing herself from the competition on the grounds of cruel and unusual punishment - for being forced to participate in the cheesy medley plus choreography of shame? She seemed to be mentally absent, as if trying to envision herself in a more soothing happy place - like the dentist’s chair.
- Was American Idol fan Quentin Tarantino consulted on the boys’ couture ensembles for the show? Them dudes looked straight outta Reservoir Dogs.
- Was Garrett Haley’s skimpy ’stache trimmed to appear identical to how it looked two nights prior? If that look was intentional, Lord help us all. Good on Garrett for being concerned about remembering his words - too bad no one will remember that he remembered them.
- Did Amy Davis‘ microphone look like a “pleasure device” to anyone else as she sang? Her obvious nervous twitching of her hand made the mic appear to be um, pulsating. Lucky for her this was overshadowed by an even MORE out of tune performance than the previous night, reminding me of the Cameron Diaz karaoke scene in “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Oy.
- Has an investigation been launched in regards to the apparent detachment of Joanne Borgella’s helium tank? Her farewell performance was MUCH (a hundred trazillion percent, in fact) better than her performance the previous night.
- Did I actually see the reflection of a tear on David Cook’s face while the ousted Colton Berry performed the now bona fide sayonara song, “Suspicious Minds”? Maybe he was sad because he is growing concerned that it will not be as easy to be crowned “The New Daughtry” as the Idol producers led him to believe it would be.
and lastly:
- Just what theme will the Powers That Be dazzle us with this week? The National Anthems of Former Communist States… maybe Bah-Chicka-Wah-Wah - Songs from Adult Movie Soundtracks… or perhaps Novelty Disco Hits as Peformed By Radio Disc Jockeys?
Can’t wait!
This entry was posted on Monday, February 25th, 2008 at 5:25 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
