American Idol - Was Georgia Peachy?
So Idol fans, have you all had your fill of bad American Idol audiovisual dining? It’s kind of like having a frozen TV dinner every night. Unsatisfying and not yummy. I can only speak for myself, but I say “Hollywood! Come and get me Hollywood!”
Good news/bad news - Hollywood is just around the corner, but we have to suffer through one more night of auditions. They are billing tonight’s show as “The Best of the Rest” - an American Idol fire sale, if you will.
Quick thoughts from the Atlanta auditions that aired last night:
- The “HOTlanta” talent pool left me cold and clammy. If three times are a charm, the fourth time is a nap.
- Ryan finally wore a shirt with a collar and a tiny alligator - yay! Buttons, too - mama likey.
- Is it wrong that Asian singers with stereotypical accents still make me laugh? “Gramourous Atranta…” Hey, don’t blame me. It all started when I first watched the Chinese restaurant scene at the end of “A Christmas Story”.
- Why has no one else ever considered purchasing fashion accessories at AutoZone before now?!? Classy!
As for the auditioners - can’t say I was much impressed at all.
Hyper Ocular Muscles Glass Guy - At first I was a little excited because I found him oddly attractive, and he seemed interesting in a charming, quirky way - even if he mentioned in his interview that he gets great pleasure from walking around with a tool sticking out of his pocket - a little TMI. Mad props to anyone who is willing to take on a Queen song… that being said, one faces a significant problem with taking on a Queen song, and that is that most people are NOT Freddie Mercury. The theatrical nature of most Queen songs tends to come off as more Broadway than Pop when performed by those with lesser talent. Lesser talent = anyone that isn’t Freddie. You do the math. And, it is never a good sign when you have to audition with your back to the camera - something tells me this guy is going to blow glass come Hollywood week.
Carrie Underwood’s Audition Buddy - Judges, why you be hatin’ on Carrie’s boy? Don’t make him unfairly suffer through FOUR years of school - can’t you see that after two Idol auditions, he has paid his dues? I would bet money that this is the one guy that would actually lessen the nasally quality of his voice by placing a clothespin on his nose when he sings. Was it just me, or does anyone wonder if this guy had some plastic surgery done by a caricature artist?
Small Town Country Girl With City Girl Name Asia’h - This was the beautiful girl who had tragically just lost her father in a car accident. I hate to speak negatively of her given what she went through just getting there to audition - but I have to be honest… vocally, she is not ready for this competition, but will probably get farther than she deserves to based on the sympathy of the judges. Paula’s first cry of the season came in record time, for Seacrest’s sake! Right now Asia’h doesn’t seem to have very good control of her voice - too breathy, and too much air coming through her nose when she pushes a note. It almost sounded like an antique car horn as it starts to honk, and doth not please my ears. I think she showed amazing poise, and she does have great potential - hopefully the judges will do her a favor and send her home from Hollywood early so that maybe she can come back once her voice matures.
South Florida Pageant Girl - I was with Simon in hoping beyond hope that this girl would have “the suck” when it came to singing. She was over the top and annoying, but really had a pretty solid voice. I am trying to keep a positive attitude about this one - maybe she will be our pop version of Kellie Pickler this season, if they let her stick around and “doo-doo American Idol”.
Eva Who Has Everything - Except balance, a voice, fashion sense… what am I missing? Oh, and a Golden Ticket to Hollywood. She did get a hug from Simon, though - so she’s got that going for her.
Girl With 93 Year Old Granny - This audition was way to short to even get a glimpse of her personality, so the Jovi Jury is out on this one. I was not a fan of the Boy Scout wardrobe, and if I never hear “My Funny Valentine” on Idol again, it will be TOO SOON. That goes for any and ALL Janis Joplin songs, as well. Enough! ENOUGH.
Teen American Comedian Idol - I think someone has been watching too many Kevin Smith movies in the downtime of perfecting that American Idol ”bedroom audition”! I closed my eyes while this smart aleck was jabberin’ on, and he sounded just like Randal Graves from Clerks - if Randal was 90% less witty, and 50% more angsty.
Nurse At A Crossroads - Loved her look, and she had me at “big girl bike” - but she auditioned with a Janis Joplin song, and if you read this blog, you know by now that is a cardinal sin in my Idol Bible. She does have a gritty and very strong voice, but would we hear her on the radio in 2008? Doubt it. I learned my lesson from Taylor Hicks, and I am sure the Idol producers have, too. The females making it in rock these days don’t sound like Janis - they sound more like Amy Lee from Evanescence. If Gina Glocksen couldn’t do it, I just don’t see it happening for this girl - unless she finds a way to ROCK and AWE the audience on a really modern rock song.
Ballock-y Jewel Junior - Poor kid lives in a CAR… doesn’t mean I needed a tour, thankyouverymuch. I imagine that the bag of dirty clothes was seriously lacking in April freshness after sitting out in the Georgia sun… tasty. Anyway - given the apparent Season 7 transformation of Simon’s now buttery-soft heart, you just knew he couldn’t be callous enough to deny someone with a story like this a Golden Ticket to Hollywood! (Paula has made it very clear how she feels about cold-hearted snakes.) I have a lingering concern that this kid suffering is from multiple personality disorder or is indulging in some wacky, illegal pharmaceuticals. How else does the voice of a homeless kid from Tennessee evolve into Liam from Oasis meets Shari Lewis as Lamb Chop?
I have me a date with my DVR to watch tonight’s show, so must say bahhh-bahhh for now! 
This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 10:21 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
