Yo yo yo, kats! So what’s goin’ on, you feelin’ ah-ight?
Sorry I didn’t get any American Idol related blogging done this week - I had family in town for Easter, and go figure… I guess family won out in the end. Only because it was Easter and everyone got along for once.
I did catch the Idol shows this week, and truthfully, I wasn’t surprised to see Chikeze sent home. Maybe it’s time he thought about getting that last name back, eh? His exit was kind of a bummer for me - I liked Chikezie. His voice was rich and yummy, but I think his defensive attitude with the judges (especially this week) hurt him in the end. It could have been the end of the road for any of the bottom three this week.
Speaking of Chikezie, it’s kind of a shame he’s out, because I think he would have done something amazing next week. The word on the street is that the Idols will be given their first mentorship of the season by none other than the fantastic Dolly Parton. She is an ICON, and I can’t wait!
It should be interesting to hear the Idols take on Dolly Parton songs, since her music really isn’t in the vocal wheelhouse of any of the contestants, except for MAYBE Kristy Lee Cook. And that is pushing it, as Dolly typically sings every note in tune. Kristy - not so much.
Anyway, I will be back with my reviews next week - have a great weekend!
This entry was posted on Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 6:53 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
What a weird show that was last night. I sat in the shower, crying the night away in my never-nude cut-offs as the water ran over me… try as I might, I just could not get clean.
Maybe it was Simon’s repeated winks at Ryan (he must have approved of Ry’s nod to his signature unbuttoned shirt).
Or perhaps it was the offers to have my “socks blown off”, the inappropriate “woos” slipping out, or the performance labeled as “wet” by a good girl dressed like an Easter Peep (Simon… ew!).
Or - maybe it’s Maybelline! (Did you SEE how much makeup Ryan was wearing last night? I thought the theme had changed and that it was Culture Club night).
And then there was Ryan’s new man-crush… did he really have to fight the urge to swap spit with David Cook to the point of considering trying out the vocoder? Blaaaaaargh, man. Thankfully, he did not go there. On camera, anyway.
Let’s hope that Nigel and the gang have learned their lesson and that Beatles songs will be retired for the rest of the season. Here are some random musings from memory - I cannot bear to go through my notes and relive the process anymore than I will have to during the Results show tonight…
From the top:
AMANDA - Girlfriend just ain’t gotta snowball’s chance in Hades to win without singing a ballad, period. Hopefully she will enjoy her career opening for Taylor Hicks at a biker bar near you. Look out, Lafayette!
KRISTY LEE - She should have brought her photo album on stage with her, or maybe even a slide projector to share her treasured memories as she performed. That might have rocked it up to at least a respectable Yoko Ono level. Perhaps one day she will find work “blowing people’s socks off”, like we apparently know she can. Head to New York, check in and apply for a position with whomever might be serving as governor when you get there - you are bound to impress with language like that on your resume!
DAVID ARCHU-D2 - The modest and clueless persona the kid puts forth is getting a little “Dee-Dee-Dee” for me for him. And the stylists need to think about mowing the eye caterpillars and applying some cayenne pepper-flavored lip balm so he will quit licking his lips, man. It’s driving me mental. While David’s vocal was quite good, it bored me so much that I actually perked up when Ryan announced that Pickles will be performing tonight.
MICHAEL - I am sympathetic to the loss of Michael’s dear friend and all - really I am. And here is the big BUT… but if you are going to pick a song for an emotional reason, then show some bloody emotion. He seems more stiff and robotic with every performance - what up, dawg? Where is the relaxed, carefree vocal god we saw in Hollywood? And breaking out the biceps again wouldn’t hurt a thang. Just sayin’.
BROOKE - Oh, no she didn’t. This will go down in my journal as the night I went blind. Thank heavens she sang just good enough so that I didn’t go deaf as well. Though in a way that is unfortunate, as I had to hear the “woo” heard round the world. Mom always said to never look directly at the sun - next time Idol, a disclaimer would be nice.
DAVID COOK - Speaking of woo - I think D-Cook is desperately trying to woo me with his shout-outs to 80’s hair bands… Whitesnake arrangements, Bon Jovi vocoders and using a guitar more as an accessory than an actual instrument, a la Kip Winger. I am starting to drink the Cook Kool-Aid, and I need rehab, pronto. I found it hilarious that Simon called him “smug” - is this the first performance that Simon actually watched? He is getting less smug, if anything. Someone needs to start paying attention in class…
CARLY - This whole performance is a blur - I remember it being pleasant, and thinking that she looked like one of the waitresses at my favorite Mexican restaurant… then the song ended and she would not stop jabbering about her reasons for choosing the song. I don’t care - just shut it and bring me my chips and salsa - this is why we have pre-performance interview clips, dambit. When will Idol contestants learn that thy mouth should not be thy shovel?
JASON - Someone give the kid his guitar back, I am beggin’ ya. And no more Frenchy-French man talk, please. No respectable dicator would speak (or sing) that way. How many French rock stars do you know? It’s too much work!
SYESHA - Syesha and the stylists apparently decided that the week her family visits would be a good one to play “Peek-A-Boob” with her wardrobe. Nice. If her song choice had not been “Yesterday”, I would not have remembered it beyond yesterday. She probably sang well enough to hammer a nail into Kristy Lee’s Idol coffin, though.
CHIKEZIE - I really, really liked this. Chikezie sansEzie is winning me back. But if he plays that harmonica ever again I will fly to Hollywood and make him swallow it. And he really needs to stop looking so much like Gary Coleman with Daughtry facial hair sculptures. Just buy a neck, if you have to.
RAMIELE - Maybe it is the after effects of St. Patrick’s Day, but she reminded me of a leprechaun trying to roll like an 80’s pimp. That song could not have been more wrong for her voice. Yes, Ramiele, you should have known better, indeed. Really.
So, the bottom three for me will be: Kristy Lee Cook, Jason Castro (SHOCK FACTOR) and Ramiele Malubay.
Going home: I thought Kristy Lee would resort to the Scarnat-Ho short shorts to save herself, but she didn’t take my advice. If Idol has any cred left, this multiple time bottom dweller will be horse shopping soon.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 19th, 2008 at 8:32 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
Ain’t no party like and Idol Results party, yo! (That’s why I held back my comments until St. Patrick’s Day… I guess.) Jim Carrey! Sanjaya! Repeat performances of the three LOWEST vote-getters! We can only go up from here, my homies…
Here is my extremely random Results show analysis from Beatles’ week number one:
* I spent most of the show trying to figure out just who is most desperate for a comeback - Dr. Seuss, Jim Carrey or Sanjaya (and it ain’t Dr. Seuss).
* Speaking of Sanjaya - he is apparently still dating his Sisterjaya… *Shudder* (C’mon, you gotta admit that there is something very “not right” about those two).
* 29 million votes! Uh, Ryan probably shouldn’t emphasize that statistic when there were 30 million plus votes cast in previous weeks. Perhaps the decline in votes is part of a Danimal retaliatory strike in response to Dictator Danny Noriega going home last week?
* Looks like we will be treated with another week of Lennon/McCartney songs… yippie. Not to dis two of the best songwriters of all time - but one week of Beatles karaoke is more than enough for me. Maybe Yoko will show up for some extra ear pain!
* D-Cook really needs a new hat. I fully understand the desire to hide the hair helmet, dude - but…
* Did anyone catch that enormous gleek that flew out of Michael Johns’ mouth while singing “Can’t Buy Me Love”? It appeared to fly in slow motion, as if it were weighted with some loogie substance… and I wasn’t even grossed out. He’s hotter than I thought! The other Idol kids are quite fortunate that no one slipped and fell in the puddle o’ spittle - especially you, Amanda.
* Out of Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha - was there really any mystery here as to who would stand in the bottom three?
* Does Syesha remind anyone else of Diana DeGarmo? Not so much in the way she sings, or the way she looks… but in the manner of how she grates on my nerves so much.
* After that over-the-top vocal run at the end of Syesha’s bottom three performance, you can now add her to my “Most Desperate for a Comeback” list above.
* Yay - Ford commercials are back in the hizzouse! And you gotta love a presidential race as your inspiration… If Michael Johns were a presidential candidate, he would be Mitt Romney. Hubba hubba. David A. would be the Obama ringer, and Ramiele would be Hillary. D-Cook would have to be The Huckabee, even though he has McCain’s hair.
* I suspect that Amanda’s Idol goals came to fruition upon meeting the lead singer of REO Speedwagon.
* Speaking of the Speedwagon - I believe I am the biggest dork in the Idol blogosphere for knowing the name of REO’s lead singer… (Kevin Cronin!)
* Ryan did not fool us into thinking that Kristy Lee would NOT be needing her instrument of torture (the microphone) to serenade us as she once again appeared in the bottom three. Don’t worry, KLC - at least Sanjaya is a believer… and if you break out the Scarnato short-shorts next week, you should be a lock for the Idol tour next summer. Sidenote: Those wood floor strobe lights should never be used in combination with the seizure-inducing purple stars screensaver ever, ever again.
* Simon + Ryan + a truckload of mud. Sounds like a golden fundraising gimmick for Idol Gives Back!
* David Foster apparently inserted a microchip into Kat McPhee - she appears more “Stepford” than ever.
* Danny and Ramiele are BFF’s 4-eva and totally do each other’s hair! Ish.
* I snorted when David H. said that his appearance in the bottom three didn’t necessarily mean that he was voted off. Them’s famous last words, kiddo.
* Do the Powers That Be really believe that hearing the THREE worst perfomances instead of just ONE is an improvement for the Results show audience? Yeesh.
* David Hernandez will “see us at the top”… oh my goodness, it’s best that I just leave that one alone. :-O
So, does anyone else think that Beatles’ Week Number Two will live up to its name?
This entry was posted on Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 12:07 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
Have you heard? David Archuleta doesn’t walk on water! Nice to see we still have a competition, eh? So, here’s the dealio on last night’s performances:
SYESHA - A good second half of a song does not an American Idol make. Syesha is forgettable to me, and would probably do very well on Broadway - but Idol is not gonna be her “ticket to ride”. Her vocals are too theatrical, and she didn’t show enough personality to command the new stage (which actually seems smaller, now that the band is hovering), or the audience. If she were to earn a place in the Top 10, she will definitely be the token “bio break” artist on the tour.
CHIKEZIE - Since Hollywood week, I have been wondering: “O Chickezie brother, where art thou?” Chikezie was BACK last night, even if he was sporting the remnants of Blake Lewis’ argyle-riffic wardrobe and admitted that he was the guy at LAX “feeling people up”. Oh my. Thankfully, his performance was super solid and surprising enough to make Ryan join him in the Cuba Gooding Jr. Celebration Jig™. Fine family fun!
RAMIELE - While Rami has a lovely voice, this performance (as noted by the wise Judge Dawg) “kinda laid there”. What he forgot to add was, “… like a heavy dog on my lap, and it put my feet to sleep.” Girl, you don’t wanna be called Lullaby, but your song choices make it so very hard to call you anything else. Ramiele seems to be stuck in safe mode, and that just doesn’t cut it with the Idol voters, myself especially. I did love the dress, though. If she gets another chance, I suggest that she loses the emo bangs and pout and does some diva-ish beltin’ if she wants to win me back.
JASON - Did I understand correctly that Jason was a music minor, and failed a course on the Beatles? I think I am getting my Idol irony wires crossed - confusing Jason with David H. - soorry. Kudos to my dreaded (in a good way) prince for picking what I believe to be one of the bestest of the Beatles’ songs. Out of anyone on the show, Jason TKO’s everyone else when it comes to song choice, in my opinion. He is mesmerizing as a performer, and he DOES connect. That said, unless he does some big sangin’ purty soon, he probably doesn’t stand a chance to win - and that’s okay… because he could be this season’s Chris Daughtry.
CARLY - I was certain that this working girl would sing “A Hard Day’s Night”, but was happy she chose “Come Together” instead - she did it justice, and more. What impressed me most is her stage presence, and sister friend had the gumption to work those serious pipes on a song I always viewed as mellow groove kinda tune. I don’t think I have ever heard that song “belted” before, and would have never guessed that it would work. Good on ya, Carly. I hope we get to see you sing with Bono or Andrea Corr in the finale.
DAVID C. - Again we see an Idol hopeful dressed in the recycled wares from a previous season’s contestant - did I not see that jacket on Chris Daughtry during Elvis week in Season 5? That’s just like wrapping yourself in bad luck, man. Outerwear aside, I must humbly bow down and confess my sins to the already converted Cook fans - I have finally joined you - for now. David Cook is slowly winning me over, hair helmet and all. And I gots to admit - that fancy stage lighting and newly discovered smile do him some serious flattery. The Cook is fine tuning the ingredients of his Rock Star Stew, and it is becoming a mighty fine appetizer.
BROOKE - Wow… people really seemed to like this, huh? I guess I need to watch it again - or maybe just listen again. I doubt I could watch again, as the awkward glances from the piano to the camera were driving me plain insane, Billy Zane. I heard a couple of pitchy spots that the judges overlooked, and didn’t feel there was any climax to her performance. Her emotion did feel authentic and genuine - but if she cries again on the show, I will be the first to call her out for being contrived and sanitized. Mr. Jovi really liked her, but I couldn’t get into it… especially after he started to sing along, but with the words of the Sesame Street parody of the song - then all I could hear was the “buh buh buh of Letter B” :
DAVID H. - Way to throw the tabloid trackers off of your tainted trail with that story of being fired from a “pizza bistro” in the pre-performance interview, man. (I will leave the “hand tossed” and “stuffed crust” jokes to your cleverly dirty little minds.) Am I the only one kinda feeling bad for David right now? His vocals are typically spot on, and he seems to be more charismatic than he was early on - but desperation is a stinky cologne, and Burn boy is bathing in it. And kiddies, do not tout your Beatles collegiate courses unless they nurtured your musical tastes enough to have better sense than to pick a song like “I Saw Her Standing There”. Celine one week and a Tiffany song the next ain’t doing much for your macho cred, Miss Hernandez.
AMANDA - Well, this wasn’t so bad. I almost dig her again. She done worked that stage, spanked it, and worked it again. She seems to have her confidence back, and I like that she is a confessed loner. I sense an underground movement of introverted, loner, rocker dorks ready to unite under our queen - once she stops wearing pants that match her hair. Calling Idol sponsor Garnier! I believe a visit by the Idol hair colorist is in order… she is a Top 12 contestant, after all! Besides, we are due a sighting of some Vannessa Olivarez/Amy Adams-esque pink tint by now, aren’t we?
MICHAEL - I think Mikey picked the best song, and his vocal was more than pleasant and sincere. Nothing exceptional, and as much as I hate to speak negative of my Aussie Delight - I do wish he would work in a softer tone from time to time. This song has such a gorgeous melody, and some subtlety really might have made it sparkle. Some parts felt a little oversung, but he is still so dreamy, I would gladly eat vegemite off of his tennis-toned abs.
KRISTY LEE - Oh, gee. Country-fied Beatles tune + Joe Elliott jeans + crazy eyes = Sequin-Flavored Cheeseball. Do Kristy’s crazy eyes remind anyone else of Jen Wilbanks, The Real-Life Runaway Bride? The word frantic does not do this performance justice. I think Kristy and Ryan must have been delayed at LAX with Paula before the show, ‘cuz this hoedown was just buzzing with an apparent influence of too many uppers. The good news is we might see a Beatles reunion after that, because if that didn’t wake up John and George, it sure had them rolling in their graves.
DAVID A. - The Golden Boy gets the Golden Spot… and he bleeeew it! Can you imagine the pressure he must be under after being crowned the next American Idol 2 months too early? I am starting to wonder how genuine the boyish modesty is now - and yes, I admit I am a full on Idol cynic, so feel free to take that into account when considering my comments. The evidence is in the fact that David has practically been raised on stage - this Idol thang ain’t his first ro-de-o, know what I’m sayin’? And he claims to be Beatle ignorant just two weeks after blowing the doors off “Imagine”? Either the kid is a calculating robot or Mama’s little puppet. I am still undecided as to which applies here.
So here is my POV on how the Results will play out tonight:
Ticket To Ride: Chikezie, Jason, Carly, David C. and Michael
Get Back: Brooke, Ramiele, Amanda and David A.
Help!: Syesha, David H. and Kristy Lee
Hello Goodbye: Syesha… only because she went first and Kristy Lee will wrangle up the country vote.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 12th, 2008 at 7:55 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
Unfortunately Jovi got called away to jury duty this week, so I’m going to step up with my perspective on the Top 8 Guys performances from Tuesday nights American Idol. Without ado…
Luke Menard - Wake me up before I vomit. That was a horrid performance. It’s too bad, because I like this guy only because is last name is Menard… “Save big money at Menards!”
David Archuleta - I have to go along with Simon that all these “utopian” songs are wearing thin. I think his Mom is probably behind that. I liked the “aww shucks” personality originally that David has, but now it’s beginning to wear thin as well. I want to like him, but the performance of “Another Day in Paradise” wasn’t that great.
Danny Noriega - The end can’t come soon enough for this “guy” - Uff da!
David Hernadez - Strip away his history and I have to admit this guy can sing. Celine Dion, though? Yikes.
Michael Johns - It wasn’t that good until he went up in his register at the end. That’s what saved him. I could do without the whole Jim Morrison schtick.
Paula Abdul - Lets talk about Paul’s performance for a moment. Vicodin and alcochol shouldn’t be mixed together. Wow, was Paula loopy this week or what? She is a hoot.
David Cook - Here’s a guy I don’t want to like, but his version of Lionel Richie’s “Hello” was very cool. Oh, and by the way, I was at Whole Foods with Lionel and Simon on Sunday as well.
Jason Castro - I actually had never heard that song and was pleasantly surprised. Very good performance and with David Archuleta languishing in Utopia, Jason Castro is my new pick to win it all. And you can’t help but love his Brad Pitt-from-True Romance personality.
Chikezie - The sad thing is, it’s the next morning and I don’t even remember the performance. Unfortunately it was very forgettable and he might be trouble as Simon suggested.
In the end, I was glad to hear Ryan finally give the “this is the best season of American Idol ever” message a rest. Clearly it’s not, and the guys, despite being a stronger group than the girls, show they can stink out the joint as well.
Here’s hoping Danny and Paula get sent home this week.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 at 12:46 pm and is filed under American Idol.
Well oingo my boingo - it’s finally 80’s week on American Idol! After listening to 80’s playlists on my iPod for 2 straight days, I feel that I am now a bona fide expert on what songs the Top 16 Idol contestants should be performing this week. As long as 80’s night is a Whitney-free, Stevie (Wonder)-free and “Black Velvet”-free zone, the show should be totally boss!
I got carried away, and picked 4 songs for each of the guys (yeah, I need a life - please submit suggestions on where I might acquire one in the Comments field). I’m listing a first choice, a runner-up, a more predictable choice that I would settle for, and lastly something so far off the radar that it might just be brilliant!
By the power of Grayskull, here are my choices of song for the Dudes:
Let’s start with…
Chikezie Eze
Chickezie has come on strong the last couple of weeks, and his song selections have been rather cocksure and expected. This week I think Chikezie needs to tone it down, chill it out - come on Chikezie, have you never been mellow? Give us something smooth and soulful, and make me fall head over heels for that voice again. Everyone will be expecting you to sing some Luther, which is ah-ight for me for you, but how about something with more of a heartstring tugging melody?
First choice: “If Ever You’re in My Arms Again” by Peabo Bryson
Runner-up: “Still” by The Commodores
I’ll settle for: “Loverboy” by Billy Ocean
Off the radar: “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour
Danny Noriega
Danny is adorable to me, and I do enjoy his carefree style, especially when he shows it on stage. However, this week is his time to shine vocally, because I believe that our proud little Mary is in real danger of going home this week if he doesn’t turn in the best performance of his life. I say match that big voice up with a big melody, and don’t try to be anything you aren’t - Robbie Carrico would certainly tell you the same thing. Since Danny has a very respectable range, and that slow vibrato-o-o-o-o-o (thanks for pointing that out, Randy!), my picks are ballads, but they don’t have dragging tempo like Danny’s previous choice, “Superstar”.
First choice: “The Best of Times” by Styx Runner-up: “Careless Whisper” by Wham!
I’d settle for: “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters” by Elton John Off the radar: “Blue Jean” by David Bowie
David Archuleta
David is gonna Slip ‘N Slide® right on through this week, regardless of any chance he might take. If he wants, he can choose a safey-safe song as well. He pretty much owns us all by now, doesn’t he? Too keep the “cool and laid back” vibe going on, I think he should stick to the melodic mid tempo or ballady type songs.
First choice: “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)” by John Parr
Runner-up: “I Want To Know What Love Is” by Foreigner
I’d settle for: “Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera (I believe the Cetera schmaltz would evoke the memories of thirtysomething chicks like me who once thought Ralph Macchio was a babe - like, totally).
Off the radar: “Make Me Lose Control” by Eric Carmen (maybe edited for ‘mature’ content, given David’s pureness)
Jason Castro Jason’s first two performances have been solid, but his downfall for me is that I sometimes have trouble remembering what his voice sounds like. He needs to sing a song that will haunt me, or that is catchy enough to get stuck in my head all day long. And if he decides to ditch the guitar, I will forgive him - but I find his vulnerability attractive, so maybe he can hide behind the mic stand a little.
First choice: “Pride (In the Name of Love)” by U2
Runner-up: “Drive” by The Cars
I’d settle for: “Follow You, Follow Me” by Genesis Off the radar: “Heat of the Moment” by Asia
Luke “Lucas” Menard We all know that Lucas is just too puny to make the team, don’t we kids? Time to send him home to tend to his bug collection and stuff. However, I always love me an underdog story, and maybe Leukoplakia will be our man if he chooses one of these most appropriate songs.
First choice: “Arthur’s Theme” by Christopher Cross
Runner-up: “Ghost Town” by Cheap Trick
I’d settle for: “Keep On Loving You” by REO Speedwagon Off the radar: “Mary’s Prayer” by Danny Wilson
Michael Johns
Michael could sing Motorhead songs and make me swoon - though I do hope he doesn’t. I fully enjoy the rock vibe Michael has been throwing out there with those savory biceps of his, and if he opted to sing a loooove song this week… well, I would not be offended.
First choice: “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel
Second choice: “Love Somebody” by Rick Springfield
I’d settle for: “(I Just) Died In Your Arms” by Cutting Crew
Off the radar: “Animal” by Def Leppard
David Cook
I am starting be to slightly convinced that David just might have a pretty decent melodic rock voice under that funny hairdo of his. I am not sure why, but I have given David my very favoritest of song choices, even though I don’t really care for the guy - probably because he is the only one that might be able to pull them off. We need to see true humility, passion and sensitivity from David this week - let’s hope he picks a song that will expose a softer side. Mr. Cook, tear down this wall!
First choice: “Your Love” by The Outfield
Runner-up: “Change” by John Waite I’d settle for: “Stone In Love” by Journey
Off the radar: “When You Close Your Eyes” by Night Ranger
David Hernandez David has been going the right direction of late, and is finally showing some personality and appears much more relaxed on stage. He is fast becoming a favorite of mine, and I would love to see him just sing the crizzap outta any of the following songs, like only he can.
First choice: “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx
Runner-up: “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis & the News I’d settle for: “Misled” by Kool & the Gang
Off the radar: “Nobody’s Fool” by Kenny Loggins
Isn’t it trippy that there are no country dudes in the competition this year? Not that I am complaining…
My song choices for the Girls will hopefully be up sometime tomorrow - pending my state of mind after *groan* jury duty. I sure hope Pauly Shore isn’t in my pool of jurors!
This entry was posted on Monday, March 3rd, 2008 at 11:39 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
Yo, yo, yo - so, how you doin’ baby? You feelin’ ahight?
Someone save me from myself - watching American Idol three nights a week has apparently caused the Randy Jackson vernacular to saturate my typically empty brain and it is beginning to seep out into my everyday conversation. Paula was actually pretty articulate this week (save for the ultra creepy review of David Archuleta’s performance) - why aren’t I spewing some o’ that?
Just a little Sunday night drive-by posting, with my thoughts from last week’s (sorta) shocking Results show. So - this week the ousted four contestants were Jason Yeager, Robbie Carrico, Alexandrea Lushington and Alaina Whitaker. I am proud to say that I accurately predicted which of the boys had sang their way out of the competition, but I was truthfully a little shocked and awed by the elimination of Alexandrea and Alaina.
Neither girl was given broad exposure on the show, but both most certainly sang well enough on Wednesday to warrant another week in the game. Amanda and Kady’s performances were notably abysmal this week, and I think they both knew it and had prepped themselves for their final curtain call. Was the surprise due to smaller fan bases - or perhaps the influence of sites like VotefortheWorst.com? We’ll never know, but I suspect it could be as simple as this - their performances just weren’t very memorable. And, in Alexandrea’s case, her annoying peace sign pose everytime she passed the camera in the Red Room was getting t-i-r-e-d. Can’t say I will miss that!
A few Results show topics to ponder until Tuesday:
- When Simon channels his inner moose (or, half moose) - what is “The Code”, and who is he communicating with? His affection for wildlife does explain his choice of Carmen Rasmusen as his Wild Card pick in Season 2. I have never actually heard a moose, but Carmen’s voice is pretty darn close to how I imagine one would sound - if hit by a car.
- When will the clever and observant Mama Seacrest join the American Idol blogosphere?
- Was David Cook seriously wearing a tuxedo print t-shirt this week? I am really making the effort to like ya, dude - but you are making it very hard for me. And no, I don’t think that Blake Lewis worked that style, either.
- Does anyone else think that Amanda Overmyer might be self-medicating on Results night? I can’t tell whether she is terrified or drunk during the themed group performances.
- Since many of the female Idols seem to have hopped aboard the hair ’stentions express, I would advise Luke Menard to do the same, since his status in the competition is currently either ”Hanging By a Thread” or “On Thin Ice” - take your pick. The Dawson should call in the stylists and request the full Legolas treatment for what could be his last week in the competition. Then rock the new locks while singing a Lita Ford tune for 80’s week!
- If I must sit through the cheesified weekly group performances each Results show, I expect a Jason Castro solo each week for as long as he is on the show. You gotta give me somethin’, people!
- Maybe Robbie Carrico will donate his wig and box o’ bandanas to a worthy cause now that he is leaving the show - David Cook, perhaps?
- Jason Yeager’s farewell performance was better without the mic stand. Regardless - I suggest a new Idol rule for future contestants: Do not attempt a Doobie Brothers song unless you are equipped with the vocal stylings and personality of Taylor Hicks. Hey - maybe that is what Simon was trying to say with The Code.
- Alexandrea seems to have a love/hate thing goin’ on with Seacrest - when she was eliminated, he tried to grab her arm in a gesture to comfort her, and she pulled away like he had been washing his hands in Bret Michaels’ jacuzzi. She then called him “Freak!” for not bringing her great-grandma to Hollywood. If footing the travel expenses of contestants’ families is a term of his contract, no wonder the guy works 43 jobs. And then after she sang and jumped off stage to hug the emotional David Archuleta, Alexandrea came back to the stage and apparently was over for her disgust for Ryan, as she then gave him a huge hug. Maybe the tears of David Archuleta are so pure they contain antibacterial properties?
- Alaina’s mom looked like she wanted to take someone out. Kady Malloy better hope that she isn’t one of those crazy competitive, cheerleader mom types.
- Ryan broke the news about Idol Gives Back week in April. Last year this show was much better than the season finale… while I am all for charity, let’s hope the Powers That Be hold back a few “cards” for the big game in May, shall we? And please don’t let them be the Elvis and Celine duet cards, for Sanjaya’s sake!
Up next, 80’s week! Can ya dig it?
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
Oof, where do I begin? I don’t think that my pal Kool and his gang would have found last night’s ladies night feeling right. It verged on suckdom for me - especially when compared to Tuesday night’s performances from the guys.
The show started out with a bang, but soon dropped like a two-ton, heavy thing. From the top:
Carly “Pub Girl” Smithson - Carly works in an Irish bar and owns a tattoo shop, but loves to clean and cook - now Paula, here is a girl for you with many “colors” in her rainbow. Taking a tip from the Michael Johns’ school of song selection, Carly chose a song she loves and always wanted to sing on AI - thankfully, it was a good one. She had the best vocal of the night by far, and she looked great. I think she wore those boots last week, but they made much more of a statement with this week’s outfit. Overall great performance, but she needs to stop dancing like Michael Johns, because when wearing low cut tops the girlie parts tend to start jigglin’ and it can be quite distracting.
Syesha “DeWayne is My Manservant” Mercado - Watching an adult woman smile almost sadisticly while mimicking the sound of a very unhappy infant is just the creepiest thing this side of Neverland Ranch, thankyouverymuch. I much prefer the Britney impressions from Kady Malloy. Syesha, well - I am liking her less and less. She lost her pitch on all the low notes, and I am of the belief that unless she’s shouting it, she ain’t hittin’ it. The peformance was trying to be sultry and sweet, but was more nightclub-ish karaoke and forgettable. And enough with the hula hoop earrings people!
Brooke “Beauty School Dropout” White - A ridiculously safe choice of song, but it suited her and will definitely keep her in the running for the top 10. Her vocal didn’t showcase a high degree of difficulty, but it played to her strengths and the guitar definitely kept her shiny happy dance moves in check. Her top and boots were tres chic, and it is good to see that ol’ Simey can still bring out the sass in such a syrupy sweet girl.
Ramiele “Don’t Call Me Lullaby” Malubay - The judges weren’t too impressed by “Rami” last night, and while I agree that she is definitely capable of better, she wasn’t awful - the arrangement of the song was, however. The flow of the chorus was totally off, and just didn’t make me feel like dancin’. The outfit was all wrong for this type of song, as well. She shoulda glammed it up a bit. If she doesn’t do something to step up her stage presence, she could go the way of Season 5’s early eliminated P.Y.T. (Petite Young Thing) - Lisa Tucker. Besides, I think these super skinny jeans she keeps wearing put her at serious risk of Camelus Toeitis.
Kristy Lee “The Decontaminated” Cook - I guess taking 5 different antibiotics makes your performance more RObotic - at least that is how Kristy justified last week’s flu-induced freakshow. Kristy does have a voice with a lot of potential, if she could pull herself away from the LAME song choices. It was good to see that she shunned the Shania stage moves and facial expressions, and found herself a pseudo-rock stance instead. Girlfriend’s performance was most improved of the week (except for maybe Carly), and she has already earned more rock cred in one show than Robbie has all season.
Amanda “Brace Yourselves!” Overmyer - Oh Ryan, thanks for the warning. We had no idea what was coming our way, we should have taken heed of your warning. This was a performance for the American Idol history books, for sho. Cruella Joplin was apparently in the mood for a melody, but melody apparently wanted no part of Amanda. She busted some high energy moves, but how will my bleeding ears ever recover enough to enjoy “Carry On Wayward Son” while playing Guitar Hero III ever again? Assuming she goes home this week, hopefully she will leave some of her hair volumizing product with fellow rocker David Cook.
Alaina “Foodie Phobe” Whitaker - Predictable, pitchy and pageanty. And that is all I have to say about that.
Alexandrea “Random” Lushington - I know I am an old fart, but I didn’t get Alex’s look last night - especially when you pair it with a moody, mellow Chicago song. It seemed very random, almost as if “the package” was wrapped up in (or maybe something changed) the very last minute. Speaking of random - am I the only one that thinks she sounds like she skips around in different keys within a song? It’s so trippy how she do. I would like to see her back for another week - not so much based on her talent, but that I kinda like her. Most of the girls could learn a lesson in humility from her.
Kady ”It’s Kay-tee!” Malloy - Better start praying for Opera theme week (if you see another week), young Kady - for your hopes for pop stardom of a Britney magnitude in are dwindling fast. Mr. Jovi claimed that this performance put his feet to sleep - if only it had put my ears to sleep, as well. The girl has talent up the wazoo (and probably other places, as well), but she has no idea where or how to showcase it. She seems really immature, and I suspect this is her roadblock right now.
Asia’h “The H Whisperer” Epperson - Uh, the hair extensions really weren’t working for me for her. She kept stroking them as she sang, and I kept waiting for her to start sucking on it or chewing it like the girls with really long hair back in elementary school. *SHUDDER* She stood out before with her shorter, spunkier hairstyle, so I hope she reconsiders the new ‘do. I don’t think her vocal was bad, in spite of the incredible disappearing note early in the song. That being said, she just isn’t a Whitney, Celine or Mariah type of singer, and should stay far away from any song these chicks ever sang or thought about sangin’. Some risks just aren’t worth splittin’ seams on your dress while trying to hit a note.
My predictions on who will go home tonight - while typically not very accurate - are mathematically calculated by a very respected consensus of scientists, so don’t be hatin’:
Baby Come Back: David Archuleta, Michael Johns, Jason Castro, David Hernandez, Carly Smithson, Brooke White and Ramiele Malubay
We’ve Only Just Begun: Danny Noriega, Chikezie, David Cook, Kristy Lee Cook, Alaina Whitaker, Alexandrea Lushington and Asia’h Epperson
Don’t Give Up On Us, Baby: Luke Menard, Robbie Carrico, Jason Yeager, Syesha Mercado, Amanda Overmyer and Kady Malloy
Dust In The Wind: Robbie Carrico, Jason Yeager, Amanda Overmyer and Kady Malloy
See you in the emergency room!
This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 7:46 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
Wow - this whole affirmative action thing isn’t working out so well for Idol this year, is it? Comparing the boys versus the girls, it became pretty apparent to me this week that the ratio of the genders would be completely different after this week if the 12 boys and 12 girls rule of the competition was abolished. Dear FOX, ‘fair and balanced’ is nice in theory, but it doesn’t always accomplish the goal of entertainment.
Randy advised the boys that they needed to “Bring it hard tonight!” Naughty double entendres aside, the boys did bring it. The ones that didn’t know who they are. *Cough*Robbie*Cough!
From the top:
Michael “A Bit if a Joke? No, JOCK” Johns - To an American, calling yourself “a bit of a jock” in an Australian accent sounds like you are being self-depreciating, which I find charming. When I saw him cavorting about the tennis court, I “got” what he really said, and the charm dimmed. Shorter tennis shorts might have helped - just sayin’. I liked that Mikey stepped outside the typical Idol song choice box and sang a Fleetwood Mac joint. He admitted that his choice was totally self-serving - and while not his most memorable vocal, I thought he sang the crap outta the chorus - in spite of the song being imprinted in my mind as a very collective vocal type of song. On the down side, he needs some new stage moves that don’t remind me of a Billy Graham tent revival, and the awkward pause mid performance sounded like he forgot the lyrics. (Maybe he did?) He wasn’t the only one that took the risk of singing “band” songs, rather than singer songs - but he came out smellin’ better than his counterparts.
Jason “Sellin’ the Schmaltz” Castro - If Jason is selling “schmaltzy”, then I am buyin’. I find this guy so appealing - it is fun to watch his transformation from pre-performance banter with Ryan to the moment he begins to sing. The nerves disappear before your eyes, and he has such a laid-back, calming presence on stage. The judges were complaining that he used the guitar TWICE in a row - quite the controversy (how dare he!) - but I think the guitar is the way he is making his mark on the show, and I love him with it. As a child of the 70’s, I was delighted to hear someone pick a song from the first man that hung on my wall (again, this sounds more criminal than it was), Andy Gibb. Don’t knock my Andy’s songs, Simon - dont you know who is is? The baby brother of Barry F-in’ Gibb!
Luke “The Dawson” Menard - I’ll give OrBlando points for being better than last week, but I don’t know that I can say that I enjoyed his helium-filled, nasally take on “Killer Queen”. I was left wondering if perhaps Joanne Borgella donated her helium tank to him upon her exit last week. I shouldn’t be so rough on the guy, but this Luke is no “cool hand”, seeming to be out of his a cappella element - like he has no biz-niz being in the Freddie Mercury wheelhouse, man. Oh Luke, you wild, beautiful thing. You crazy handful of nothin’.
Robbie “The Rocker Postiche” Carrico - Wow… there is just so much about this guy that reeks of pretense, I don’t know where to start. Now Robbie fans, don’t take me down - this all comes from the perspective of a real rock fan, who used to eat, sleep and breathe Def Leppard and AC/DC records back in my pre-teen, teen, young adult (you get my drift) days. Looking at me now, you would never believe I was that kid, and some might discredit my “rock loyalty” because I also enjoy a lot of pop music and even the occasional spin of Michael Buble. However, the thing that I feel makes me “real” as a rock devotee is that when someone doesn’t buy it from me, I really don’t care. I never defend it. Robbie, on the other hand, takes SO much offense when his rock roots come into question, that I have to believe this is all some ill-conceived plan to be the next Bo Bice or Daughtry, going horribly awry. The evidence is in the performances - if you watch him closely, every move he makes while performing is right out of the Backstreet Boy playbook - from the upward tilt of the microphone, to the back and forth head groove, to the lift and stomp motion of his feet. Plus, most real rock performers would consider it to be in poor “rock dude form” to use finger numbers when describing their 103 degree carnal fever.
Danny “Ish” Noriega - I have seen this love/hate thing going on with Danny in the Idol community… me, I am on Team Love when it comes to my little Diva. The kid really has potential, but just hasn’t come close to picking that magical song yet. I really dug Danny’s look this week - his checkered cardigan reminded me of my man Rick Neilsen of Cheap Trick, (back in his younger, skinnier days). While “Superstar” might be a good song choice on paper, the performance came off a little bland due to the sloooow arrangement of the song, and I feel it zapped the hipness and sparkle out of his performance. If he can find a song that connects with his free spirit and amazing vocal range, it could make the competition very interesting.
David “Mitch Gaylord” Hernandez - I read a blog the other day that was discussing dark horse contestants in American Idol history, and who might be this year’s dark horse. My pick would be David. His performance seemed much less stiff this week (perhaps he is relaxing by spending his down time on the balance beam) - though he still needs to watch his eye movements (physically impossible, I know - I meant in the mirror, people), because they tend to get really big and verge on appearing deranged. He chooses unexpected songs that I don’t necessarily like, but the way he sings them makes me like them, if that makes sense. Simon is raising his hands and proclaiming his fandom for David H., and so am I.
Jason “I Need A Jäger” Yeager - Jason’s stock dropped for me dramatically this week when rumors surfaced of him fathering his follicularly forlorn child with a 14 year old girl when he was 18. Shiny Iceman teeth just aren’t enough anymore, dude. Your (former) girl Jovi is officially creeped out. Thank goodness the performance stank, no reason he should stick around any longer. Besides, since when does it makes sense to sing a free-spirited Doobie Brothers tune with your shirt tucked in? That’s just darn goofy, if you ask me. He should have considered adding a white jacket, white shoes, and sang a Bee Gees tune.
Chikezie “Without the Eze, if You Pleasie” - Chikezie’s fashion choices defy all logic, if you ask me. Last week he sported a yam-colored ensemble which bordered on the “leisure suit” category made popular in the 70’s, and this week he opted for the 80’s trend - jeans and layered polo shirts, and what I thought looked like a calculator watch sewn into a terrycloth wristband. He looked decidedly less ridiculous, but homeboy is just off when it comes to dressing decade appropriate. Is he just trying to appear to be ahead of his time? Fashion faux pas aside, he sang great, and the song choice fit him perfectly. He needs to start holding his tongue with Simon, though - the wardrobe jokes, while funny, will only serve as disrespect when said over and over by a contestant. That is why it is good to be a blogger - we can rip on Simon’s nature sweater and grayscale color preferences until the end if time!
David “Wordy Nerdlinger” Cook - I didn’t think that David Cook could appear to be any more of a moody coffeehouse dweller, but then he embraced his inner “geek for vocabulary” in his Idol interview. It is all very clear now. I was happy to see that David is toning down the easter egg hair - now let’s do something about the shape of it, shall we? Also, was the bandana hanging from the back pocket mistakenly left there by Robbie Carrico, or does David Cook just want to change some oil and wipe some dipsticks? I should back off, because in honesty, David’s vocal was actually really good this week - plus he plugged in his guitar, which is pretty much always a plus in my book. Now if he will stop winking at the camera as if he is looking in the mirror… and somebody please give him the memo that if you are gonna slam Simon, it had better be funny, or he will take you down faster than you can say ’self-destructive’.
David “The Chosen One” Archuleta - There’s a sweet co-inkydink in the fact that David had the opportunity to sing in front of the Season 1 Idols (including Kelly Clarkson) in a hotel lobby when he was just 11 years young. With this week’s performance, we have found what I believe will be the male version of Kelly. While I am no fan of the sociopolitical message of John Lennon’s “Imagine”, I can’t deny the chills-inducing effect the song’s gorgeous melody has over me when performed well - and David, to put it simply… nailed it. The arrangement was smart (leaving out the lyric that disses religion - a good way to avoid the potential p-off of middle America), and the vocal was full of emotion, and patient to perfection. A performance America won’t soon forget, and I can’t wait to see what he does next week. Let’s hope that the Idol producers keep Paula and her twisted ambitions of a headless David dangling from her rear view mirror FAR AWAY from America’s newest star.
Up next - the girls. As Simon would say in his most sarcastic of moments… Whoopie.
This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 5:33 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
As Mr. Jovi and I watched last week’s American Idol results show, my better half submitted for my consideration what just might be the most relevant Idol question EVER:
Why is it that the eliminated Idols are always given a second opportunity to sing their song of shame after being eliminated?
He suggested that the top 2 vote-getters should be the ones that are brought back out to sing. I am not convinced that this would be the right formula, but he has a point. This is how they do on Idol wannabe shows like Rock Star (INXS and Supernova) on CBS, and to date that hasn’t worked out so well for those shows from a ratings standpoint. I don’t know what the magic answer is, but I can tell you that if I could hear a decent (or at least interesting) performance at the end of the results show, it would make that 60 minute walk to the Idol chopping block much more bearable.
Some other questions and musings from the eliminations (inquiring minds want to know!):
- Just how high would Paula Abdul’s ‘comeback’ actually rank if she had to sing live and “shake what Mama Abdul gave her” in front of the self-appointed critics in the American Idol audience? Maybe Randy Jackson should consider Robbie Carrico’s super ex-girlfriend Britney for his next career revival project.
- What was Simon chewing at the beginning of the show? The unabashedly cantankerous Mr. Cowell was back and in the hizzouse fo’ shizz, baby! Maybe he is back on his preferred Idol diet of razor blades and the much-pimped Idol beverage of choice - Coca Cola! His snark definitely appears to have returned to its optimum fighting weight.
- Does Simon really drink Coca Cola, or is it actually the tears of Ramiele Malubay?
- Did the 60’s medley make anyone else long for some of that Brady Bunch edge? The outfits were kinda hot for the most part - except for maybe Alaina’s. She resembled Brady sibling Jan… and we all know that Jan was never the hot one.
- Where can I get myself a Simon’s-head-on-a-stick mask?
- Does anyone else think that Amanda Overmyer is considering divorcing herself from the competition on the grounds of cruel and unusual punishment - for being forced to participate in the cheesy medley plus choreography of shame? She seemed to be mentally absent, as if trying to envision herself in a more soothing happy place - like the dentist’s chair.
- Was Garrett Haley’s skimpy ’stache trimmed to appear identical to how it looked two nights prior? If that look was intentional, Lord help us all. Good on Garrett for being concerned about remembering his words - too bad no one will remember that he remembered them.
- Did Amy Davis‘ microphone look like a “pleasure device” to anyone else as she sang? Her obvious nervous twitching of her hand made the mic appear to be um, pulsating. Lucky for her this was overshadowed by an even MORE out of tune performance than the previous night, reminding me of the Cameron Diaz karaoke scene in “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Oy.
- Has an investigation been launched in regards to the apparent detachment of Joanne Borgella’s helium tank? Her farewell performance was MUCH (a hundred trazillion percent, in fact) better than her performance the previous night.
- Did I actually see the reflection of a tear on David Cook’s face while the ousted Colton Berry performed the now bona fide sayonara song, “Suspicious Minds”? Maybe he was sad because he is growing concerned that it will not be as easy to be crowned “The New Daughtry” as the Idol producers led him to believe it would be.
and lastly:
- Just what theme will the Powers That Be dazzle us with this week? The National Anthems of Former Communist States… maybe Bah-Chicka-Wah-Wah - Songs from Adult Movie Soundtracks… or perhaps Novelty Disco Hits as Peformed By Radio Disc Jockeys?
Can’t wait!
This entry was posted on Monday, February 25th, 2008 at 5:25 pm and is filed under Television, American Idol.
Speaking of Chikezie, it’s kind of a shame he’s out, because I think he would have done something amazing next week. The word on the street is that the Idols will be given their first mentorship of the season by none other than the fantastic Dolly Parton. She is an ICON, and I can’t wait! 
Or perhaps it was the offers to have my “socks blown off”, the inappropriate “woos” slipping out, or the performance labeled as “wet” by a good girl dressed like an Easter Peep (Simon… ew!). 
So, here’s the dealio on last night’s performances: 
- When Simon channels his inner moose (or, half moose) - what is “The Code”, and who is he communicating with? His affection for wildlife does explain his choice of 
